Can I get a witness, please?
I don’t know what I really need a witness for. You are all my witnesses, the two people that
MAY end up reading this entry. I’d like
to continue my self-help series with an entry explaining how to reach your full
potential. Ready? This is big,
mind-altering shit… Don’t smoke weed.
There you have it. Ok, so there
are other contributing factors, like the belief that anything is possible, that
you will succeed through hard work and dedication, and that practice makes
perfect. But take it from me, smoke weed
and all those things will probably fly would the window, along with any
motivation that you once had. I’m not
saying that I have completely no motivation, but it’s severely lacking. Wait… I just had a revelation… maybe the
answer is to continue smoking weed. I
have not smoked weed on a regular basis for a very very long time… maybe I
shouldn’t have stopped! Yes, that must
be the answer… to reach your full potential you must always smoke weed. Ha!
Another stroke of genius from yours truly!
*Disclaimer: My genius is often mistaken for actual genius
and everything I say is really just the voices in my head playing jokes on the
other voices in my head.
Ok, so a true revelation had occurred to me earlier… what
would happen if everyone (and I mean absolutely everyone in the whole fucking
world) reached their true potential as a human being. It would be chaos. Think about it… competition for jobs would be
insane. If everyone who dreamed of
becoming a movie star became a movie star.
If everyone who strives to become CEO of a fortune 500 company, became a
CEO or at least was qualified to be a CEO.
If every athlete, musician, scientist… you get the picture. Who would take the little jobs? Who would serve you that coffee and apple pie
in that diner on your way to making it as a movie star? Who would drive you places when you were that
movie star? Are some people’s full
potential to be the best limo driver in the world? Maybe a couple people, who knows. I just think that a world full of exceptional
people would not work very well. I am
perfectly content to be less than exceptional.
Of course, I fully expect my son to be exceptional… no pressure though.
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