What is accountability? It's being accountable for your actions and words, no matter if they are accidental or not. Imagine a world where everyone assumed accountability for their actions. No more passing the buck. No more blaming other people for the outcome. If it's your fault, it's your fault! If someone breaks my bike, they would leave a note saying "Sorry, here's my phone number so you can contact me for repair costs." But alas, the world is not like that. We all like to pass the blame onto someone or something else. If the world took accountability for its actions, then there would be no such word as scapegoat. Sometimes I really hate this world. Sometimes I just want to live alone on an island where all I have is me to blame. Fucking world... be accountable!!!
Tuesday, August 31, 2004
Thursday, August 12, 2004
A note about the new posts and randomness
Hello. How are you? I added some posts, but you may notice that they are dated in the past. I figured since I can actually change the date and time that I would date them at the time they were written. Makes sense, no?
They are of the randomness that occurs in my brain on a daily basis. I find my thoughts wonder quite irregularly sometimes. Right now it's not wondering so much cause I'm tired. Also because I am thinking about my baby and being able to kiss and hug her again... among other things. ;)
I should post more. If only to see what crazy ads the banner at the top comes up with. Earlier it had links to shopping cart covers. Where the hell in my blog did I mention that??? Crazy Internet! Evil computers!
I can flutter my lips like a horse. I guess I have loose lips. My boss spent half an hour yesterday trying to do that. She said she once could. Then today she told me she was able to do it last night, but she couldn't repeat it. People are funny like that. I wonder what she was doing at home that made her think of that. Was she just sitting on her couch watching TV and suddenly flutter her lips, then cry out, "I did it! I told Al I could do it!"?
Oh no, I bought Jeep shoes! I must be conforming to commercialism. No!!! They were cheap and comfortable. Sometimes I get tired of all the digs and teasing that goes on amongst my friends. It seems to be constant sometimes. We can't have serious conversations, or pleasant conversations without some kind of snide remark being thrown out. I want to be able to talk about serious stuff, or to discuss my feelings without having some sarcasm thrown in. I guess that's another thing that makes me happy about having my girl. I can talk to her. She just listens without judgement. I love her so much. I love her till it hurts.
Ok, I'm done.
They are of the randomness that occurs in my brain on a daily basis. I find my thoughts wonder quite irregularly sometimes. Right now it's not wondering so much cause I'm tired. Also because I am thinking about my baby and being able to kiss and hug her again... among other things. ;)
I should post more. If only to see what crazy ads the banner at the top comes up with. Earlier it had links to shopping cart covers. Where the hell in my blog did I mention that??? Crazy Internet! Evil computers!
I can flutter my lips like a horse. I guess I have loose lips. My boss spent half an hour yesterday trying to do that. She said she once could. Then today she told me she was able to do it last night, but she couldn't repeat it. People are funny like that. I wonder what she was doing at home that made her think of that. Was she just sitting on her couch watching TV and suddenly flutter her lips, then cry out, "I did it! I told Al I could do it!"?
Oh no, I bought Jeep shoes! I must be conforming to commercialism. No!!! They were cheap and comfortable. Sometimes I get tired of all the digs and teasing that goes on amongst my friends. It seems to be constant sometimes. We can't have serious conversations, or pleasant conversations without some kind of snide remark being thrown out. I want to be able to talk about serious stuff, or to discuss my feelings without having some sarcasm thrown in. I guess that's another thing that makes me happy about having my girl. I can talk to her. She just listens without judgement. I love her so much. I love her till it hurts.
Ok, I'm done.
Monday, June 14, 2004
Is there a time for death to take us?
6 lives gone, 3 to go. Although, some may not have been considered lost lives.
Let's begin by re-capping: First, I was about 4 years old and was at my parents' friend's house. The adults were have a dinner party inside. Outside, they have a big pool and I was playing around it. My ball fell into the deep end of the pool and I used the net to try to fish it out. Well, I slipped and fell... no idea how to swim. I don't know how long I struggled to keep my head above water, but I know I wasn't doing a good job. I was finally pulled out by one of the friend's kids. After that, I was hit by a car twice, I was lying in the back seat of my mum's car when there was a speeding car driving head on in the wrong lane on a very narrow bridge, I was 2 minutes away from taking my own life, and now finally what happened today. I was biking home from work. It was very windy, blowing all kinds of shit in my face. My gears were screwing up and I noticed some ribbon had got stuck. I stopped to pull it out. Seconds later.... CRACK! A tree behind me fell onto the road, taking a powerline down with it. It was just 20 feet away from where I stopped. I looked at it for a second and said, "Wow!" Then I thought, "Shit, I was 30 seconds away from that falling on me." If the elevator at work was 30 seconds slower... if I had to fiddle an extra 30 seconds with my bike lock... if I had stopped under that tree to fix my gears.
Near death experiences? Maybe. Close calls? Definitely! It is quite funny how this happened today though. Yesterday I was thinking about whether we all have a time when Death takes us, or if we need to accomplish something before it comes. I guess this may add to my thoughts of how I am supposed to accomplish something, and maybe this was a warning to me. "Hurry up with your destiny!" Death is screaming to me. Well, you only have to tell me once... maybe twice to remind me, cause my short-term memory is not great anymore. So here I am, writing, getting my juices flowing. Maybe Death was saying, "Here's something for you to write about!" Earlier in the day I was feeling quite unmotivated. Well Death, here you go... I'm writing.
Let's begin by re-capping: First, I was about 4 years old and was at my parents' friend's house. The adults were have a dinner party inside. Outside, they have a big pool and I was playing around it. My ball fell into the deep end of the pool and I used the net to try to fish it out. Well, I slipped and fell... no idea how to swim. I don't know how long I struggled to keep my head above water, but I know I wasn't doing a good job. I was finally pulled out by one of the friend's kids. After that, I was hit by a car twice, I was lying in the back seat of my mum's car when there was a speeding car driving head on in the wrong lane on a very narrow bridge, I was 2 minutes away from taking my own life, and now finally what happened today. I was biking home from work. It was very windy, blowing all kinds of shit in my face. My gears were screwing up and I noticed some ribbon had got stuck. I stopped to pull it out. Seconds later.... CRACK! A tree behind me fell onto the road, taking a powerline down with it. It was just 20 feet away from where I stopped. I looked at it for a second and said, "Wow!" Then I thought, "Shit, I was 30 seconds away from that falling on me." If the elevator at work was 30 seconds slower... if I had to fiddle an extra 30 seconds with my bike lock... if I had stopped under that tree to fix my gears.
Near death experiences? Maybe. Close calls? Definitely! It is quite funny how this happened today though. Yesterday I was thinking about whether we all have a time when Death takes us, or if we need to accomplish something before it comes. I guess this may add to my thoughts of how I am supposed to accomplish something, and maybe this was a warning to me. "Hurry up with your destiny!" Death is screaming to me. Well, you only have to tell me once... maybe twice to remind me, cause my short-term memory is not great anymore. So here I am, writing, getting my juices flowing. Maybe Death was saying, "Here's something for you to write about!" Earlier in the day I was feeling quite unmotivated. Well Death, here you go... I'm writing.
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