Thoughts from November 17, 2003

Rummaging through things I've written in the past, I came across this. Random? Yes. Enjoy.

Just think... don't think about what you want to think, just think and type... pause all you want, then put the words in your head together... or don't even put them together and just type. don't worry about puncuation you dumbass.. ok, I threw that in because I'm typing, but whatever... quality guarantee... does a life come with a quality guarantee... wouldn't that be great if it did, your life is 100% guaranteed to be quality, if not get a new one for free... but people do get new lives... they think about change, then do it..... I want a new life, but I want to keep some of my life now... if I trade in my life for a new one, does that mean trading in everything? Cigarette. Why does age have a bearing on how and what you think about... or does it.. if age did not exist, does that mean you wouldn't think about getting older.. of course it would.does an immortal soul think about getting older?

Where's the beef

I have a beef to express. Why do all the lyric websites out there just copy and paste from one source, which is usually wrong?? Ok, so not all the lyrics are wrong, but here's a case in point. I was curious as to what all the lyrics to Eminem's Lose Yourself, because I almost had them all down, but was missing some chunks. So I sang the song to the lyrics I found. It just didn't sound right, and I definitely knew that some were very wrong.

Here is what most sites have as the lyrics:

Lose Yourself

And these are my modified lyrics, which I believe you'll agree (if you actually like the song) are far more correct:

Lose Yourself (again)

Why I decided to go on about this and actually edit the lyrics, I really don't know, I just had the urge. I get some crazy urges sometimes... that's just a little piece of me. :)

Foreshadowing...

Could this have been some foreshadowing of what has come to pass? I'm definitely not letting the person who has changed my life so much slip away. And I will forever grow with her.

One day my life will change. Up until now there have been a lot of things that have shaped me the way I am; my parents, my friends, my teachers, but there will come a time when a person walks into my life and changes my existence. Whether that person will be a flash in the pan, or a life long companion, I don’t know. I feel it. I feel it everyday of my life. I hope for it and I expect it. Is that my problem? Am I living in a dream world? Am I waiting for nothing? Maybe that person has come and gone. Maybe I didn’t realize it because my mind was too preoccupied with waiting for this person. Someone once said that life is what you make it. Am I making it worth it? I want to be on that road going across North Dakota, where I saw the “F” made of stones on top of the hill. Why was that there? Was it a symbol for something? I think a man walked up to that hill, and with his dying energy, made that “F”. He made it for everybody. “Fuck you!” one person would say it meant. “Freedom”, says another. Maybe it was just plain Fred.